Recipes for Change: The Celebration of Southern (the first of many posts)

Sarah in the center, my sister in law at left and
my husband at right - a little before I met him.

“She must be a nice Southern girl with a name like y’all.”

Those were Sarah's, my husbands grandmother, first words when told my name and that Richard and I were dating. I only met Sarah a few times and on one memorable occasion, she told me to come into the bathroom after I knocked to say goodbye. She popped her head out of the shower - with a cap over her head and covered only by the shower curtain - and directed me to "take good care of my grandson." She passed away shortly thereafter from cancer but through the years, I feel like my relationship with her has deepened through the many family stories and memories that are shared whenever a group – small or large – get together. And when my husband’s extended family get together, it’s a large group.

My mother in law (bottom left) with just
a few of her cousins.

Sarah, her four siblings and their children, including my mother-in-law, grew up in Macon and Atlanta, Georgia. Helene, my mother-in-law grew up surrounded by a large, gregarious, tight-knit, Jewish family with most of her cousins within driving distance and as some of her closest friends. My mother in law has always had a confidence about who she is and an ability to see humor in most situations which I think is the product of being deeply rooted to a family that encircled the children in safety and shielded them from the times that were changing rapidly.

Although all of Sarah’s siblings – and many of their spouses – have all passed away, they created a glue that has bonded their children (my mother in law and her cousins) through the years and despite geographic distances. Many of them came this past summer when my in-laws celebrated their 50^th Wedding Anniversary. Or as I re-named it, “Mike and Helene’s Wedding Weekend Part II."

There was a Friday evening dinner (the rehearsal dinner) and Saturday bar-b-que lunch (the brides lunch), the Saturday party (the wedding) and a Sunday brunch (the brunch). The Saturday bar-b-que lunch was your typical Texas bar-b-que with all of the fixins but many of us didn’t really touch the coleslaw that should be renamed Soup of Mayonnaise.

My in laws when they first met.

The only coleslaw I really enjoy is Grandma Sarah’s slaw – a vinegar based slaw that has a little sweetness from sugar, pops of flavor from the different seeds used in the marinade and the crunch of the cabbage. This simple yet satisfying dish was one of the first I was introduced to in my husband’s family. And now, this is the coleslaw that everyone in all of our extended families make from California to Florida. Whenever it’s served, if someone related to Sarah is nearby, there is always a story or two told about Sarah and you can almost feel her scooching her chair up to the table and joining us.

And that’s what the entire 50^th Anniversary weekend felt like. The generations who weren’t physically in the room could be felt moving around us sharing in the roars of laughter at the telling of family stories, old jokes and recounting of family gossip. The cousins drank each other up faster than they could get another cocktail or say “come give me some sugar” to the younger generations in the room. After explaining to my children that "give me some sugar" isn't an ingredient to another recipe, I realized that through the shared memories of the cousins that weekend, once again, Grandma Sarah and her siblings were encircling all of us and giving us a little sugar of their own.

Grandma Sarah

*When I highlight an organization in my blog posts, I try to focus on those that work in communities to help women and children. Sarah, a disproportionate number of her siblings and others in her family, fought cancer and many didn't survive. So for this blog post, I'm highlighting the American Cancer Society, headquartered in Atlanta, GA. The ASC helps people get the support and information they need, fights for people to have access to quality health care, provides research and helps find cures.

Grandma Sarah’s Slaw

Ingredients:

1 head of green cabbage
2 medium yellow or white onions cut into rings
1 red bell pepper
½ lbs carrots, shredded (you can buy bags of shredded carrots)
7/8 cup sugar
1 cup white vinegar
1/8 cup vegetable oil
1 tsp salt
1 tsp caraway seeds
1 tsp dill seeds
1 tsp poppy seeds
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 tsp dry mustard

What to do:

Cut cabbage into thin slices and place in large bowl along with onion, sliced red pepper and shredded carrots.
Combine sugar through dry mustard into a small sauce pan.
Bring to a boil and pour over cabbage mixture.
Toss, the cover and refrigerate for 24 hours before serving.

What to do in Photos: